7 Ways To Develop Positive Thinking

Negative thoughts can make us perceive problems that don’t really exist around us. Negativity can cause us to worry and remove our happiness. The problem though is that many people don’t realise just how negative they have become. It may be such a habit, that they are oblivious to it.

Another part of that problem is that you may be around people that are negative all the time. They can zap your energy if you aren’t careful. You are going to need to make some changes around those types of people to help you move forward and be happy. We will talk about that more in the next chapter.

You may be saying that you can’t help who you are working with. Maybe the lady at the desk right next to you does nothing but complain. It can reduce you from a smiling, happy person in the morning to being grumpy and wishing it was time to go home.

You can’t change other people and how they think, but you can reduce how you let it impact you. When negativity is around, it seems to ruin the entire surrounding atmosphere. You can let it continue to do so or you can make it better and be happy in spite of what others say.

One of the easiest and most effective ways to get people to stop being so negative is to ask them how they can change it. For example, if you are listening to someone complain about another person, tell them politely that they need to talk to that person about it if it is ever going to get better.

If someone is complaining they don’t understand a school assignment, tell them they need to talk to the instructor about it. When there is a complaint about something, ask what they can do to make it better. All of these options are very simple on your end. Yet it will stop those negative people in their tracks. They will stop being like that around you.

1. Optimistic

Pay close attention to how you react to things. If you feel that you are negative with them, change it around. Focus on being optimistic so that you can feel happy. You may be startled at first as you realise the number of times negative thoughts come into your mind.

However, the goal is going to be to change them into something positive every single time. You will realise over time you are experiencing negative thoughts less frequently. You will also find that you get into the habit of automatically being optimistic. In time, it will become a huge part of who you are and your lookout for life.

2. Count your Blessings

When you start to get down, think about all of the blessing you have in your life. Take a moment each morning to add up the little things that will bring you joy that day. Maybe you will get to meet someone new for a date that evening. Perhaps you are going to enjoy lunch with an old friend.

Before you go to bed at night, think about the small and big things that occurred that made your day a good one. Did you get some free time to read a book you enjoyed? Were you able to take the dog out for a walk and some time to play at the park? These are the little things in life that really do make us happy!

3. Be Grateful

If your way of thinking is about what you want and what you didn’t get, you will always be disappointed. When your mindset is one that allows you to be grateful then you can get through the hard times. You will also be happy because you realise the contentment that comes from the simple things in your life.

4. Be Kind

Smiling is one of the best ways to feel happier than you do right now. When you smile, others will smile back at you. They are going to see you as someone that they can approach. They will feel comfortable around. Being kind isn’t hard, it is a choice.

Hold the door open for someone instead of rushing on to take care of your business. Allow someone else to go first at a four way stop when no one is sure who should go next.

Most importantly, be kind to yourself. Think about all of the positive ways that you have done well at work, at home, and for others that day. Don’t focus on the things that didn’t go your way or the to do list that never seems to end.

5. Doors Open and Close

Life may not always go according to your plans. Perhaps you applied for a job you really wanted and didn’t get hired. However, that means that another door is going to open for you. Don’t close your eyes to this or you may miss out on the best things that are soon to come along.

Always look for the good in every situation. No matter how dire it may seem, there is always something to be happy about. When you look at things from such a point of view, you will be mentally empowered. You will know that regardless of what life tosses your direction, you are going to be able to overcome it. When you look at life from such a prospective, you will also appreciate the good things when they do happen in your life.

6. Envision

By closing your eyes, you can spend some time envisioning what it takes to make you happy. Focusing on the outcome that will develop is a great way to start your day well. It can also be a wonderful way to drift off to sleep at night. When you envision what you really want, you can help to make it happen.

During these envisioning episodes, think about how you FEEL during them. Are you happy? Why are you happy in them? That is what you should be focusing on. It could be due to where you are or who you are with that makes all the difference to you.

7. Don’t Fear Mistakes

Everyone makes mistakes, so don’t think you are the only one. If you don’t take some risks now and then, you aren’t going to make mistakes. Yet you aren’t going to achieve that level of happiness you want either. Put yourself out there and you may get hurt, but you may also get the best possible scenario.

If you don’t take the risk, you will be frozen right where you are. You will also end up with regrets concerning “what if” and those are the kind that can take away your happiness.

This doesn’t mean you act careless and then blow off the fact that a mistake was made. Instead, it means you do your very best. It means you learn from your mistakes and continue to hold your head up high. It also means you have the self-worth of knowing you gave it your all.

"I truly believe that everything that we do and everyone that we meet is put in our path for a purpose. There are no accidents; we're all teachers - if we're willing to pay attention to the lessons we learn, trust our positive instincts and not be afraid to take risks or wait for some miracle to come knocking at our door." - Marla Gibbs

How do you cope with financial stress?

How do you cope with financial stress?

If you're worried about money, you're not alone.

Money is a common cause of stress for adults worldwide.

Studies have shown that 72% of adults reported feeling stressed about money.

They are either worried about paying their rent or feeling bogged down by debt.

Although any stress can take a toll on your health, stress related to financial issues can be especially toxic.

Before I proceed to highlight the impact financial stress has on your health, do click the subscribe button and the notification bell.

Now let's continue with the video

So what are the impact financial stress has on your health?

How many of you actually do this like cutting corners in areas you shouldn't, like healthcare and seeking medical treatment?

Even though this may seem like a good idea to keep costs down but delaying medical care can actually lead to worse health outcomes and higher costs.

In many instances, poor financial health can lead to poor mental health.

For years, studies have shown that people in debt have higher rates of mental health issues like depression and anxiety than those who are debt-free.

Do you know that ongoing stress about money has been linked to migraines, heart disease, diabetes, insomnia and more.

Left untreated, these conditions can lead to life-threatening illnesses, which can plunge you even further into debt.

So how are you going to cope with financial stress and effectively manage your financial situation?

These are the 3 highly recommended strategies that you can apply:

Number 1: Start identifying your financial problem.

You should be able to clearly identify the financial problem you’re facing.

It may be that you have too much credit card debt and not earning enough income.

Or you overspend on unnecessary purchases.

Number 2: Create a budget plan.

Calculate your monthly income, pick a budgeting method and monitor your progress.

Try the 50/30/20 rule as a simple budgeting framework.

Allow up to 50% of your income for needs.

Leave 30% of your income for wants.

Commit 20% of your income to savings and debt repayment.

Number 3: Create extra sources of income.

Avoid taking any part time job or working overtime.

This idea will cause you to suffer from work related stress.

One of the problems with working too much is that you will be trading sleep or rest hours for work hours.

If you are married, you will introduce another stress into your life; marriage related stress.

I don't think you will want that.

You can start earning extra income, even if you have a full-time job.

Technology and the Internet has created tons of opportunities for us to start earning passive income.

Passive income can help you earn more during the good times

And it will also help you if you suddenly becomes unemployed.

Either way, a passive income gives you extra security.

There are several ways that you can start earning passive income.

If you are unsure as to what or which passive income to start you can click the links in the description.

Passive income is the only way to boost your monthly income.

In conclusion, if you feel that the stress of your financial situation is too much for you to handle,

It's important to share your concerns and not just keep them to yourself. Talk about your money concerns with trusted friends and family. Follow through with the 3 recommended strategies and start eliminating your financial stress.

I will see you again in the next video. Stay safe and stay healthy.

Nothing Ever Stay The Same

Nothing ever stays the same. On the one hand we despise change yet on the other we don’t want to stagnate and become boring. Yet our habits keep us locked into a course of action day after day, year after year. The way we think, the way we behave, the way we experience things, the way we react to incidents, all are dominated by our habits.

They are so strong that most do not even know what they are. Whatever our habits are, they keep us fixed in a particular perspective or behaviour. They stop us reaching our potential.

Our habits are basically involuntary acts we perform unintentionally and without thinking. We just are them. Yes. We are our habits. Whether, you lack confidence, find it difficult to make decisions, always arrive late for an appointment, can’t say no ..., feel lonely, feel stupid, think others always know best...... These are all habits. That’s the bad news.

The good news is that you can change. Change is based on choice. Once you realise what your habits are, you have more chance of changing them. It may not be easy. It may be painful, sometimes. But it is also fun and rewarding because you are changing your life. 

You are opening yourself to see the possibilities of your potential. What you are capable of.

History shows us that there are four key ingredients to successfully change habits:

Reflection, Realisation, Resolve and Sustained Effort.

In other words all you have to do is imagine you are the gardener of your life:

Reflect on the state of your garden.

Realise what are weeds and what are flowers.

Remove the weeds.

Replace the weeds with flowers and make a sustained effort to keep the garden clear of weeds you don’t want.

What is the largest weed in your garden? Which habit causes you the most pain? What is keeping this weed in place? What stops you from pulling it out?

Look at all the obstacles and think of the best method for eradicating the weed. Remember some weeds do not come out at first pull. They leave a little root behind. Some are better killed off with weed killer rather than a tortuous pull. Look for the best method for your weed.

Now, what flower would you like to plant in its place? What behaviour would you like to put in instead of the habit? You will need something because all of us that have changed habits are aware of the need for transitory behaviour. A good example is giving up smoking. The transitory behaviour is either: something to do with your hands, instead of holding a cigarette; gum to chew when you would light a cigarette or a sweet to pop into your mouth when you feel like a cigarette.

So what flower would you like to put in place of your weed?

The next phase is the key to success.

For all gardeners the next phase is the most easy and yet the most difficult. Make a sustained effort to keep the weed out of your garden. This is the key. It is so easy to say I’ve done it and walk away.

Sustained effort can also be called zeal and enthusiasm. Be passionate about clearing your weed. Tell others what you are doing.

Avoid incidents that would automatically set the weed off. Keep looking at your new flower. Have zeal and enthusiasm for your new flower. Keep focussed on the flower.

Make a sustained effort to keep the new flower watered and the area around it free from weeds. Nourish it. Fertilise it. Talk to it. 

Gradually the new flower will blossom and the old weed will disappear.

5 Inspiring Action Verbs That Can Change Your Life

If you're having trouble getting inspired, it may be simply your choice of verbs. Here are 5 action verbs that can help get you inspired and get you out of your rut.

We've all been stuck in that place where things just don't seem to go forward. We have trouble getting motivated and our goals seem either out of reach, or too weak. In short, we are uninspired!

Some self improvement experts will tell you that you have to have a good attitude in order to improve your life. I would agree with that, but it's not always that easy. It's hard to set aggressive goals and get inspired to achieve them when your mindset is not right.

If your mind is not ready to embrace more exciting goals, then change will be at best, difficult. In fact, if you're not ready for it, then it will be hard to conquer even small challenges. If you can't take on small challenges, then it's going to be impossible to change your life to the degree you'd ultimately like.

To that end, I recommend using action to inspire yourself and create change. In effect, we're placing the cart before the horse here, and forcing our attitude to match our actions. If you shake things up by taking action first, you'll get your mind ready to create and pursue more exciting goals.

Below are 5 inspiring action verbs that you can use to shake things up and get yourself mentally ready to take on new challenges. If you use these techniques, even in small ways, you will naturally and yourself on the road to change. Change leads to bigger and better goals. Bigger and better goals lead to accepting greater challenges... and so on, and so on.

1. Give - Give to a charity, an individual in need, or simply a friend or relative. You don't have to give something expensive or big. Just a show of appreciation will do, such as a card. Why does it work... Giving is a very uplifting experience since it frees your mind from thinking that there is not enough in the world. Giving teaches you that there is plenty to go around, and it will cause you to attract more good things in your life.
2. Learn - Learn a new language or a new dance. Learn about something you know nothing about, or learn to play a song on the piano or guitar. Why it works... learning something new develops your nervous system and makes you think in ways you've never thought before.
3. Change - Change your routine, take a different route to work, change your usual clothing style, your hairstyle, or change what you normally eat. Why it works... change begets change. If you want a big change, start by making a small change.
4. Participate - Participate in community activities, a sports team, or join a club. Why it works... participation requires social interaction and creativity, both of which will stimulate and inspire.
5. Create - Create a piece of art, write a short story, make a bookshelf, or start a website. Why it works... creating stimulates all those dormant forces that allow change to enter your life.

Each time you perform one of these inspiring actions, take several minutes to feel good about it. You want your attitude to catch up to your actions. Also make sure that you enjoy the process, knowing that what you are doing is good for you and those around you as well.

Sometimes, just the exercise of reviewing these action verbs will be inspiration enough to get you thinking of what you could do to change your life. I hope you enjoy using these inspiring action verbs to change your mental state and improve your life. I'm sure that now you can think of some on your own.

Remember, though, nothing happens without taking action!

What Makes Us Stressed?

It seems like you hear it all the time from nearly every one you know – “I’m SO stressed out!” Pressures abound in this world today. Those pressures cause stress and anxiety, and often we are ill-equipped to deal with those stressors that trigger anxiety and other feelings that can make us sick. Literally, sick.

The statistics are staggering. According to a Cigna 360 Well-Being Survey done in 2019, a staggering 92 per cent of working Singaporeans are stressed. 8 per cent higher than the global average at 84 per cent.

The impact of the current coronavirus pandemic has caused stress and anxiety among three in four Singaporeans and permanent residents, according to a study conducted by marketing communications agency Wunderman Thompson.

The results of the study, which polled 500 respondents between June 29, 2020 and July 6, 2020 was released on September 24, 2020.

About 78 per cent of those in the study said that they were anxious about economic issues, with a majority worrying about issues such as unemployment rates and the current state of the economy.

Among the 18- to 24-year-olds, their main concerns were finding jobs that fit their skills, with the graduates facing difficulty in their job search, the survey showed.

“Stress is a big issue… but sometimes it is a topic that people don’t like to talk about, and we really need to address it to move things forward,” said Mr Mengual, who also noted that stress is linked to diseases such as hypertension and diabetes.

Fed up with his job, Singaporean lawyer Nick Ng resigned from a financial services company in March without alternative employment lined up.

For the 37-year-old, teleworking conditions under the COVID-19 crisis had become unbearable, since the company essentially expected its legal team to be available round the clock.

“Coupled with today’s technology allowing for instant messaging, this blurred the work-life balance to a point where I dreaded receiving constant notifications on my mobile,” he recalled. Amid the frequent pings, he said he experienced severe heart palpitations and breathlessness, and ended up consulting both a doctor and a psychologist.

Feeling “always on” is a pandemic experience many in Asia and around the world can relate to.

Over two million GP appointments each year were for chest pain driven by stress-related mental illness, and about 240,000 people were sent to the Accident and Emergency departments of hospitals for stress-related illnesses yearly.

Women suffer from anxiety and stress almost twice as much as men. Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in Singapore, surpassing even depression in numbers. Anxiety is the most common mental health issue facing adults over 65 years of age. Anxiety sufferers see an average of five doctors before being successfully diagnosed.

Unfortunately, stress and anxiety go hand in hand. In fact, one of the major symptoms of stress is anxiety. And stress accounts for 80 percent of all illnesses either directly or indirectly.

In fact, stress is more dangerous than we thought. You’ve probably heard that it can raise your blood pressure, increasing the likelihood of a stroke in the distant future, and 90 percent of visits to a primary care physician were stress-related disorders.

Health Psychology magazine reports that chronic stress can interfere with the normal function of the body’s immune system. And studies have proven that stressed individuals have an increased vulnerability to catching an illness and are more susceptible to allergic, autoimmune, or cardiovascular diseases.

Doctors agree that during chronic stress, the functions of the body that are nonessential to survival, such as the digestive and immune systems, shut down. “This is why people get sick,” he says. “There are also many occurrences of psychosomatic illness, an illness with an emotional or psychological side to it.”

Furthermore, stress often prompts people to respond in unhealthy ways such as smoking, drinking alcohol, eating poorly, or becoming physically inactive. This damages the body in addition to the wear and tear of the stress itself.

WHY ARE WE SO STRESSED OUT?

We’re living in very trying and difficult times and things don’t seem to be getting any easier. Sometimes life can seem terribly painful and unfair, yet somehow we manage to struggle on, day after day, hoping and praying that things will soon get better.

But day by day the world is becoming a crazier and more uncertain place to live in, not to mention stressful. Nothing seems safe anymore. Millions of people are in record levels of debt. Many are losing their jobs, their homes, their health and sometimes even their sanity. Worry, depression and anxiety seem to have become a way of life for way too many people.

Turn on the news or open up a newspaper and we are bombarded with disturbing images and stories. We begin to wonder if we are safe anywhere. In this, the information age, never before have we had so much access to so much data.

The economy is another stressor. Soaring gas prices, outrageous housing costs, even the cost of food has sent many Singaporeans to work in jobs that are unsatisfying and tedious. They work these jobs because they need a paycheck. Today, it’s more important to bring home the ‘bacon’ rather than work in a dream career.

All of us will experience situations that may cause us to become stressed or feel anxious. The reasons are too many to note but can include, buying a property, having guests stay over (in-laws!), being bullied, exams, looking after children, managing finances, relationship issues, traveling etc.

Stress is a ‘normal’ function of everyday life. Only when it appears to take over our lives does it then become a problem.

Everyone will have different reasons why a situation causes them pressure. As a rule it’s usually when we don’t feel in control of a situation, then we feel its grip tightening around us causing us to feel worried or ‘stressed’.

If stress is caused by us not feeling in control of a situation, the answer is to try and reverse this, and regain that control. The good news is: YOU CAN!

You have everything inside you that you need to overcome your stress and the accompanying anxiety. The problem is, often we don’t realize that we are in control because we feel so out of control at time. But the tools are there, you just have to use them.

STRESS OR ANXIETY

Contrary to popular belief, there is a difference between stress and anxiety. Stress comes from the pressures we feel in life, as we are pushed by work or any other task that puts undue pressure on our minds and body, adrenaline is released, extended stay of the hormone causes depression, a rise in the blood pressure and other negative changes and effects.

One of these negative effects is anxiety. With anxiety, fear overcomes all emotions accompanied by worry and apprehension, making a person a recluse and a bagful of jitters. Other symptoms are chest pains, dizziness, and shortness of breath and panic attacks.

Stress is caused by an existing stress-causing factor or stressor. Anxiety is stress that continues after that stressor is gone. Stress can come from any situation or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, nervous, or even anxious. What is stressful to one person is not necessarily stressful to another.

Anxiety is a feeling of apprehension or fear and is almost always accompanied by feelings of impending doom. The source of this uneasiness is not always known or recognized, which can add to the distress you feel.

Stress is the way our bodies and minds react to something which upsets our normal balance in life; an example of stress is the response we feel when we are frightened or threatened. During stressful events our adrenal glands release adrenaline, a hormone which activates our body’s defense mechanisms causing our hearts to pound, blood pressure to rise, muscles to tense, and the pupils of our eyes to dilate.

A principal indication of increased stress is an escalation in your pulse rate; however, a normal pulse rate doesn’t necessarily mean you aren’t stressed. Constant aches and pains, palpitations, anxiety, chronic fatigue, crying, over or under- eating, frequent infections, and a decrease in your sexual desire are signs you may notice which indicate you may be under stress.

Of course, every time we are under stress, we do not react to such an extreme and we are not always under such great duress or fear every time we are confronted with a stressful situation.

Some people are more susceptible than others to stress; for some, even ordinary daily decisions seem insurmountable. Deciding what to have for dinner or what to buy at the store, is a seemingly, monumental dilemma for them. On the other hand, there are those people, who seem to thrive under stress by becoming highly productive being driven by the force of pressure.

Stress and anxiety affects many factors in our body not only in our mental state. Cancer and other deadly diseases are related to stress and anxiety because of the changes in the chemical composition in our body due to stress and anxiety.

You don’t have to be a victim of stress and anxiety, its just all about discipline and having a proper schedule. Not taking in anything you cannot handle will be a lot of help. Learn your limitations and stick to it. Do not over exert yourself. Just try to go over the border an inch at a time.

You can lead a productive successful and fulfilling life and career without the need to endanger your health. If not, you are not only killing yourself, you are also sending your family and friends and all the people around you away.

Stress is a natural part of life. It can be both physical and mental and much of it can come from everyday pressures. Everyone handles stress differently, some better than others.

Left unchecked, however, stress can cause physical, emotional, and behavioural disorders which can affect your health, vitality, and peace-of-mind, as well as personal and professional relationships.

Stress management isn’t as difficult as it might actually seem. However, we can’t emphasize this next point enough. If you think you have too much stress in your life, it may be helpful to talk with your doctor, spiritual advisor, or local mental health association. Because reactions to stress can be a factor in depression, anxiety and other disorders, they may suggest that you visit with a psychiatrist, psychologist, social worker, or other qualified counsellor.

I am not presenting myself as a medical professional.

If you feel you are in need of help, do not hesitate. You might not be correct always. The cause of your stress might be for no reason at all. But it might be physical in its roots.

Someone else might be able to solve it easily. Understand your limitations and it can relieve stress to a large extent.

Stress is a normal part of life. In small quantities, stress is good – it can motivate you and help you be more productive. However, too much stress, or a strong response to stress, is harmful.

It can set you up for general poor health as well as specific physical or psychological illnesses like infection, heart disease, or depression. Persistent and unrelenting stress often leads to anxiety and unhealthy behaviours like overeating and abuse of alcohol or drugs.

Just like causes of stress differ from person to person, what relieves stress is not the same for everyone. In general, however, making certain lifestyle changes as well as finding healthy, enjoyable ways to cope with stress helps most people. I hope that I’ve given you some great ways of dealing with the stress that we all feel!

Above all, remember that you are in no way alone in this battle. There are hundreds of thousands of people out there who feel overwhelmed and nearly completely out of control.

Enjoy and live life to its fullest. And when you feel yourself stressed out or beset with a panic attack, relax, breathe through it, and know that there are many, many people who know exactly how you feel.

I like Bobby McFarrin’s philosophy best of all – “Don’t Worry, Be Happy!”